Oh how well we all know Fear…
He creeps up on you at the most inconvenient times, making you feel like an imposter. He tells you that you are not good enough, productive enough or talented enough. He tries to convince you to turn around and quit.
Well I say enough, is enough.
Being scared simply means that you’re about to do something really brave, something that means a lot to you.
There is a well known acronym in Hypnotherapy which is used to explain FEAR.
F – False
E – Evidence
A – Appearing
R – Real
And what this means, is that fears are simply our own unfounded ideas that we hold about ourselves, objects, people and situations. There is no grounding in reality. In fact, they are made up notions rooted in the way we view our world.
If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgement of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Fear Is Natural
Fear is an intrinsic part of human existence. It is a natural part of the human fight or flight response designed to keep us safe. Without it, our race would not have survived like it has. Without fear, there would be nothing to stop me from blindly running across the road, or getting into the car of a total stranger.
But, these instances of fear are meant to be short lived. Living in continual fear means we are constantly prepared for a threat. This results in our body releasing a stream of chemical hormones, which either shut down important bodily functions or increase heart rate and blood flow. Neither state are good for us if they are prolonged. If we don’t learn to moderate our fears and phobias, our systems will quickly fatigue the body causing serious physical health issues.
Embrace You Fear
Whilst running away from your fear might seem like the safest, easiest route, it is not making your situation any better.
The more you run, the more it follows.
The further you run, the faster it chases you.
And the more you deny it, the more it comes knocking on your door shouting “YOU’RE STILL AFRAID!”
Put simply, running from what you fear most only serves to increase it’s power, turning it into the dreadful monster you created in your mind. Unless you learn to confront your fear, you will always be running from a bear. You’ll never learn that the very thing you were running from was only a teddy bear.
The way to overcome fear is to acknowledge it. Embrace it.
Only then will you realise that it is not as bad as you first thought.
Our minds, wonderful and ingenious as they are, were not created to make us happy, but to keep us alive. And a very good job it does! My urge to jump into the Thames just because, is thankfully kept in check by my rational brain.
But when it comes to sorting out our fears, our brain is not quite so helpful. It creates a scenario in our minds of an outcome far worse than what will actually happen. Sometimes things go wrong, but they are always better than what we had dreaded. Because fear is not reality.
There is a technique we use in Hypnotherapy called De-Catastrophising, where the client imagines their worst case scenario happening over and over and over again in their mind, until they realise that the experience, although uncomfortable, wasn’t actually as bad as feared. And that eventually, they will get over it and get on with their life with a stronger resilience and an armoury of new skills.
Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.
C. Joy Bell
So say hello to your fears, hug them should you wish.
Because you have the power to do what it takes to break through any obstacles that stand in the way of yourself, your dreams, and your happiness.
Much Love Always X
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